When is it enough?

That is my question. When is it enough?


Those of you raising children understand that it is a constant learning experience.
Contrary to what we want to think or try to convince ourselves of at times
...we just don't have all of the answers to begin with.
Not that we can't get the answers. We certainly can-but that is why it is an ongoing learning experience.
We have to seek God first about what, where, when and how to help our children grow and develop.  This brings me to where I am now.


The struggle between guiding a child toward excellence and pushing them toward self-destruction. The bible says that we as parents are not to provoke our children to wrath. As a matter of fact, in most versions, it specifically addresses the instruction to the dads.
I am going to include 2 verses in 2 different translations so that hopefully one of them will speak to each person reading.


Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]  
(Amplified Bible)


Fathers, do not be so hard on your children that they will give up trying to do what is right. (New Life Version)


Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  
(Amplified Bible)


Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.  
(The Message Bible)


So, this is the crossroads of parenting. This is the point where we as dads either choose to invest in our kids lives by pouring our own lives into theirs...
or
...we choose to impose rules and sanctions and hope that things turn out for the best.


This goes back to relationship. It is imperative that we as dads take the time to grow our relationships with our kids. When we do I believe we have a greater way to speak into their lives than by being their commander in chief barking orders or being their parole officer running down every little mistake.


Yes, we must present a standard of excellence for each child. Yes, we must encourage a desire within them to be self-motivated.Yes, we must guide them and help them learn to make wise choices.Yes we must teach them responsibility, honor, integrity, the value of the truth and the value of their word and hard work.


That is the question...in pursuit of those things...when is it enough? 
---When does the standard become an unattainable utopian dream? So outlandish that by very definition it is bound for failure.
---When does the teaching become demanding? or the guidance become intimidating? No longer a positive motivator but a debilitating negative influence.
---When does the push become a shove?


Those are questions that can only be answered by each person. You have to examine where you are with your kids and decide, when is it enough?
I am asking the question because I have seen too many dads that are either too overbearing or too nonchalant. The result of both is the same in most cases...kids who lean toward resentment and rebellion.


I am advocating that we measure ourselves by the Word of God and daily release faith in those words that we make the right choices in how we grow our kids. When to push and when to back off. When to instruct and when to correct.


If we will hold ourselves to the standard then we will be able to present to our kids a proper, healthy and high standard for them individually. We will also be able to correctly direct and encourage them into how to make proper choices and how to be creative and fun-loving kids living a full bore life.


Dads, let's step up and be the parents we were meant to be. Let the past be the past.
Together let's move forward alongside our kids assisting them as they grow.




Until next time--keep it in the Zone,